A Kick in The Ass: 5 Tough Love Pieces of Advice to Start 2017

Sorry for a bit of a blogging hiatus. Holidays=family=kids running around like crazy and not much quiet time for Allison to write. But I’m back. And have had plenty of time to think of what to write to my lovely readers. I know you’re probably sick of hearing about new years, new you crap, so I decided to take it in a little different direction.

The end of the year always seems to be the time for reflection. Let’s face it; 2016 was a rough year for a lot of people. Whether it was personal, political, or related to the deaths of what seemed like the major gene pool of classic stars, it seemed that everyone had something to complain about. Cue New Year’s Eve where we attend lavish parties, spend outlandish amounts of money, and drink ourselves into oblivion in order to forget about the soul crushing, gut-wrenching, suck-fest of a year it was. So we count down sixty seconds as we watch the Times Square ball drop and listen to stars attempt to lip-sync (Mariah Carey, at least you looked fabulous) songs to pump us up for a great year ahead. And when that clock hits zero, we toast to the beginning of a new year. 2016 who? We think that the start of a new calendar year, a new twelve month cycle, and the first few weeks of forgetting to write 2017 on everything we sign, will just poof away the past. And then there are resolutions. We all make these outlandish New Years’ resolutions, that, let’s face it, are usually broken within the first month (and that’s me being a bit generous there). I know this sounds very pessimistic, but trust me, I’m one of the biggest, most bubbly rays of sunshine you have ever met. (Plus I have a sun tattoo so that makes it even more legit right?) I believe in tough love, because it shows that people care and want us to truly change for the better. Instead of approaching this as a whole new you with new resolutions, I’ve come up with a different approach on how to view the New Year. Below I give you my five pieces of tough love, batteries not included:

1.Continue What Was Started

Just because the year changes on paper doesn’t mean that everything is brand-spankin-new. New Year, new you. Bullshit. You are the same you. So continue what was started. You might not like who you were, so don’t continue the crappy parts of you. But instead, what are the parts of you that you really liked? Life is a constant evolution, a continuation of what was started, and a bettering of oneself. Don’t make resolutions. Make lifestyle changes. You can’t go on a crash diet to loose a bunch of weight and then expect it to stay off if you don’t actually learn about mindful eating habits. The same is true for resolutions. You can’t make a specific resolution and then work, work, work (for some reason I picture the 7 Dwarfs writing that) for that and disregard everything else. What are you learning by doing that? Hint: NOTHING! You should be working towards the long haul

2. Stop blaming others

People always use a new year as a new start. They are so quick to say that they are going to do better; then, when they trip up, they blame everything and everyone but themselves. “It was just a terrible year.” But it shouldn’t be thought of that way. You have to look inwards and realize why something happened. Not everything is going to go your way. Life’s tough, get a helmet. (One of the things “Boy Meets World” taught me in my teenie bopper years). If you want to know what happened, look to yourself first, open yourself raw, and vow to change that so that it doesn’t happen again. You are the master of your own destiny. Realize the mistakes you made, don’t dwell on them, forgive yourself, make peace, and move the heck on already. It starts with you. It starts now.

3. Change your mindset

“One shitty thing happened, so naturally a million other shitty things are bound to happen so why bother trying?” Sounds familiar right? Good old negativity taking control of your brain again. What made your year so bad? I can bet that almost every one of you had at least one awesome or exciting thing happen to you. So then why are you focusing on the bad? It’s a mindset. You choose how you are going to react to things. You choose positivity or negativity. The attitude and mindset you hold is the kind of magnetism and energy that you are going to attract. So change it. Vow to improve oneself. Wake up with the first thought being “Today will be a great day.” Change that mindset and determine to be bigger and better than what knocks you down. Check out the book, You Are a Badass. Jen Sincero is my hero because of this book. She talks about just what I mentioned. If you think something is going to happen, it is. Believe that. You are a badass, but only if you choose to be one.

4. Take Control=Stop Waiting

This is a big one I encourage people to do every single day. I hate how everyone talks your ear off about all these plans, about wanting to travel, or wanting to go to the gym more, or even wanting to try a new restaurant…DOWN THE STREET! Seriously people, GO! Get up. Do it. Stop waiting. If all of these deaths this past year coupled with all these terrorism bombing and shootings, taught you anything it’s that nothing is guaranteed. There is no day but today (Rent song!). So stop waiting to do something. If you have always wanted to go to Ireland but don’t have the money, start saving today. Go try that new food. Read that book. Wrestle a freakin alligator if your heart so desires. Just please, please, please don’t leave this world having done nothing but grow old and wheedle your life away making money that you never spent to enjoy yourself.

5. Be Selfish

Alright, this last one you all are probably thinking, this chic has seriously got some egotistical beliefs. But hear me out. For a good portion of my life, I tried so hard to please other people and listen to other people’s opinions on how to live my life to the point that when I was living on my own for a while I had no idea what to do to just make me, well, me. I didn’t know what made me happy being alone. I only knew what I had based on other people. It took a few years of being single and on my own and doing this whole adulting spiel until I was finally able to 100% say… I LOVE my badass, wine loving, exercise crazed, sock wearing (yes, even to bed), sarcastic, joke telling, crazy face making self and don’t care what people think when I quote White Chicks or Super Troopers a million times (in the character voices mind you). And that is a great feeling. Now that I truly know who I am, I can truly give of myself to others. By doing that, wait for it, wait for it…I, therefore, become less selfish! Mic drop. I find myself wanting to please others because I am pleased. So that is what I mean by being selfish. You have to love you before you can love anyone else. You have to make yourself happy before you can give of yourself and your happiness to others. Don’t be afraid to say no. Do what you want, because at the end of the day, remember you’re all you have. And when loving yourself 100% is accomplished, then your selflessness takes an even greater presence. Funny how things always have a way of working out.

So there you have it. My 5 tough-love tips for 2017. Feel free to respond, bash me, send me a millions dollars, whatever you want. Just know, life is beautiful people. So start seeing it that way. 

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